[Extracted from the monthly ECO NEWS - June 2019]
Reflecting recently on how amazing my life has been over the years, I thought about the many paradoxes in A.A. A paradox is defined as “an absurd statement that when investigated proves to be well founded or true.”
The recovery language I heard in AA meetings that first year sounded just crazy to me. Phrases such as the following appeared nonsensical; I’d repeat them over and over, to gain understanding:
- - Surrender to win
- - Myself will be my downfall
- - A crack in the pot is sometimes the only way the Sunlight can enter
- - I’m grateful I hit bottom; it made me teachable
- - There is no graduation in AA
- - I no longer have a drinking problem; I do still have a thinking problem
Over time, these phrases became paradoxes because they all eventually made sense. I love the irony in these words because they prove how my faulty thinking kept me stuck for so long. Paradoxes are another example of the depth of this divinely inspired program.
Having just celebrated another anniversary in our beloved fellowship, I know one thing for sure: the longer I ‘m sober, the less able I am to define my Higher Power/Creator.
This is another irony because I was told in those first weeks of getting sober that I’d better have a definition of a power greater than me, if I wanted to achieve sobriety.
Defining my Creator matters less each year. For two reasons:
- The scope of my Creator continues to expand...to a place where I just have to say “words do not suffice” in trying to define it
- I’ve experienced firsthand the existence of a power greater than myself in so many instances. Times of directly knowing when my will is aligned with my Creator’s... that’s when I know I’m moving in the right direction.
Today I’m grateful for the paradoxes, the ironies and the freedom of my own concept of a power greater than me.
Thank you all for this wonderful gift of sobriety.
Yours in Loving Service,
Area 78 Delegate, Alberta, NWT, W. Nunavut